As I sit here and consider extending my chastity for yet another month, I think about our meeting this week. It felt so normal just walking around and talking as I took that nice little walk around the park. Sure, it wasn’t like I was walking through a crowded mall or having to interact with any judgmental people, but just talking about fashion, body shaping, and my purpose felt completely normalized.
I’m almost sure that once free from chastity I won’t dress up nearly as often as I do now. I know I’ll keep up the body shaping though. It’s become a habit. I find myself laced into my corset and wearing my bra before I even have my eyes open. It’s become automatic to put them both on. Every other time I’ve been released from under your thumb I haven’t dressed in my professional femme clothes nearly as much though.
Even though I know there is no escaping my danielle side, I just won’t have any reason to do so. When locked, it’s literally part of your orders that I live 4 days per week dressed as if “on call” should I ever be needed. That part of my life would not be needed. Even though I feel so “put together” and confident now when dressed, I’m almost sure I would opt for comfort if given the choice. This is the mental wrestling match I’m having when considering my upcoming chance at freedom from chastity.
The strange thing is that I’m not even considering orgasms in this mental exercise. I’ve grown so accustomed to those desires only arising every few weeks and now associate them with no decent sleep that I think my body has now accepted that brainwashing.
I know I still have a few days to decide, and I’m confident that even if I opt for freedom for even a little bit that will be asking to be back under your thumb not long after, but the thought of freedom is actually a bit anxiety inducing. This lock feels so safe and is basically a part of me now. I know whatever I choose, I will have your support…
I at least take comfort in that.
My purpose is to give my Mistress obedience and pleasure.
