This week reinforced that this time through chastity was not going to be about fetishes, BDSM, humiliation, or any other thing that you typically see with chastity slaves. I am coming to accept that your intention is to turn me into a girl. You’ve told me repeatedly that you see me as a girl, but up until recently I had always written that off as “Mistress” speak….as just something a Domme will say when playing a role.
This is different.
You are focused on making sure my clothing is appropriate for my body. No French maid sissy outfits, no costumes, no miniskirts that could possibly see my private areas peak out. Everything I am permitted to wear these days must have the potential of not drawing second glances should I go out in public. Everything is to look feminine, but nothing should get me kicked out of a coffee shop or restaurant should I ever be given the privilege of accompanying you somewhere in public.
I went to the salon this week and had my hair and eyebrows done to enhance that feminine look. I had makeup on as well that must have looked ok as I’m pretty sure I heard two older women talking about my outfit and they actually used feminine pronouns when whispering about me. They were talking about how my purple was brighter that the purple they were wearing and how that day must have been “purple day”. I’m very sure I heard them using words like “her outfit”. I never feel like I’m a passable girl, so going out in public while femme is nerve wracking but overhearing that has me thinking that your tutoring may be showing results. While I think I’m still too scared to go eat somewhere alone when it’s busy like that, that salon felt like a successful trip through the very shallow end of a pool.
Last week's assignment centered around keeping all of my nails painted so most of my anxiety at work was centered around who noticed my red nails. No one said anything, so I’m left wondering if comments are being saved until I leave the room. Are they wondering if I lost a bet or do they just simply not notice? Without any kind of observable resolution, I remain anxious about keeping them painted 24/7.
I am extremely curious about what is to come for me as you continue to treat me as “just a girl”.
My purpose is to give my Mistress obedience and pleasure.
