This week you introduced me to a new side of myself that has slowly been being developed by you. I should have seen it coming, but like everything, you brought it into existence in such a subtle way that it just seemed normal.
Since snapping the lock closed on the chastity device almost 6 months ago, I’ve known that you were going to move toward making sissy danielle the main side of my personality, and you have almost all but fine that. Even under my dress clothes for work, which are already on the feminine side for a boy, I’m now wearing both a corset and a bra daily to continue to shape my body into a femme figure. When not in that attire, you have trained my overtly danielle side to always have her hair, makeup, nails, and clothes on point. There is almost no time during the week (maybe 24 hours total) where I exist as the male I used to be.
This week I found out there is a whole other side to me though. This week during our in person meeting I felt her come out. Just after you slipped my hood on you had me bend towards you again. That’s when I felt the posture collar tighten around my neck. For some reason something clicked inside me when you made sure it was on as snug as possible while still allowing me to breathe. It was only reinforced further when you did the same with the gag that forced my mouth open. Before that happened, danielle had a part of her that still always felt in control. After those two items were put on me, any desire to stay in control left. danielle was reduced to something that had the ability to acquiesce to your desires and nothing more. I think at that point, I felt no need for things like safe words to even exist. All I wanted to do was say “yes Ms Patty”.
As you tied my ankles and secured my arms behind my back, I should have felt some sort of anxiety, but I felt none. As you began to strike me with your cane, I should have felt some sort of fear to accompany the pain, but I felt only pleasure that I was bringing you joy. Even as you penetrated my backside with something (something I never even close to enjoyed in the past), I could feel how it was bringing you pleasure to do so and thus let it happen.
It led to me feeling my first orgasm in what felt like forever. Not only did I orgasm, but I didn’t make a mess in my panties while doing so. That was something that surprised me as I left my time in service to you. While being penetrated again isn’t something I crave, the feeling of being that version of danielle again is. I loved the feeling of being a willing plaything. The loss of control and extreme vulnerability I felt was euphoric. The desire to only say “Yes Ms Patty” with pride was freeing. It left me wanting to be controlled even longer. I began to think what it would be like to be in your presence for 4 hours…8 hours…a whole day. Could that feeling last that long? Would it even be wise to make that feeling last that long?
This week we add to my body shaping. As soon as it arrives, I will not only be wearing a corset daily, but a shaping bra as well. Even though my outer clothes of a shirt, vest, and tie will show the world one thing, I will feel the hug of the corset and bra making me feel like danielle under those clothes. I almost feel like it’s just a matter of time before my regular ties are replaced by my femme ties, my shirts with blouses, and my masculine vests with their femme counterparts and blazers for work.
Just like everything else, it will probably happen right under my nose and without me realizing it, but I can see my male side slipping away slowly. Soon there will only be danielle.
My purpose is to give my Mistress obedience and pleasure.
