This week I once again got to serve you in person. I am amazed how quickly I have been conditioned at this point to slip into subspace and assume my role when in that position. Both my body and my mind just accept those triggers that are the hood and the gag after my corset is tightened as part of my prep routine. It is nice to have such strict protocol to follow that I have now been solidly trained for. For so many years I have read and been jealous of slaves who told such stories on the internet and kind of assumed that it was fiction. Now that it has all but happened to me, I can barely believe that I have gotten this lucky.
One thing I did notice this week is I really do need to make sure my kneeling position is uptight instead of sitting back on my feet. The blood being cut off all but rendered one of my feet completely numb. Had I maintained my proper pose, I would have made a much better ashtray for you. That is something I will work on to become the perfect slave for you.
The feeling of knowing that any teasing I receive while in service is beginning to give me great pleasure even when I know it will end with denial of any orgasm. That feeling of having my blouse unbuttoned while in positioned and having my breasts teased is amazing. It makes me feel almost slutty in that I would beg for an orgasm/release if not for the gag. It makes me doubly appreciate that you remove my ability to do so. I just need to be grateful for the attention I am given when you could just be ignoring me. The feeling of the vibrator on my nipples makes me crave the pinching. The pinching makes me crave things like clamps or a leash and collar. My mind just begins to crave any kind of tactile stimulation to my most sensitive areas. It wants to go deeper and deeper into subspace until I’m just living in your cage between periods of usefulness.
The time I spend getting dressed has become all but normal. danielle is no longer just a costume I put on; it’s become my life outside of work. As I approach 6 months in chastity knowing it will be at least 210 days until I get even 1 minute out of that cage, I now wonder what my life would be like without m current purpose. Do I even need the chastity cage to control me anymore? Is it so normal now that it no longer serves much purpose? Would I still crave your control over me 24/7 were you to unlock me me for a bit?
I suspect I will learn the answer to these questions.
As for now.
My purpose is to give my Mistress obedience and pleasure.
