When I was first fantasizing about a life in D/s and BDSM, a lot of the stuff I read online revolved around the “forced femme” variety of chastity. It all seemed so fantastical and not possible at the time to my 25–30-year-old self.
This time that I’ve been under your thumb in chastity to You, it’s suddenly become all too real. While there have been no magic pills or mysterious hypnosis, I have suddenly noticed how I’ve all but become a girl. Outside of a few hours in which I coach sports, every hour of every other day I pretty much consider myself of the female gender even if my biology says otherwise. I attend salons to maintain a femme hair style, I wear undergarments that have started to permanently give me a femme shape, and even my “boy clothes” have a femme flair to them. I wake up in the morning and the first thing I do is get into my femme body. My corset and bra go on. Even after my required dress clothes go on, it is now obvious I have an hourglass silhouette. Anyone watching me walk can see how much my posture has been feminized.
This week involved twice going out fully dressed with makeup and hair. While once was a simple trip to the salon, a place that is open to dressing, it did require that I wore the punishment blouse. It was truly a humbling experience as it’s a very femme top that draws attention. There is no way to hide when wearing it in public. While the people in the salon are totally accepting of LGBTQ+ anything, the walk to and from happens right in the heart of downtown Centerville, Ohio…. a pretty conservative suburb. It was truly a test of my obedience to you.
The second time was a trip to Target to run an errand for you. While the outfit I was in was nowhere near at attention grabbing as the punishment blouse, it was still way more than your average Friday afternoon shopper wears to run to the store. The average woman there was in jeans and a t-shirt. I was in my required dress code to serve you in person. Hair and make-up done, corset and bra shaping me. High waisted skirt filled out with petticoat underneath, lacy blouse with pussy bow tie and a vest made for such a skirt. I was the only one in heels as well in a crowded Target on a Friday late afternoon. My anxiety was at an all-time high and was much more of a test to obey you without question. The “good girl” I received upon completion of my task felt so amazing. Anything I do anymore successfully to serve my purpose to you feels so good. While I used to hope it would come with a reward of an orgasm, I now just revel in the emotional high of subspace followed by an amazing night of sleep.
While I do miss that feeling that comes with an orgasm, I’m beginning to accept that the feeling of serving my purpose feels better.
My purpose is to give my Mistress obedience and pleasure.
