As I mentioned to You this week, I have been thinking a lot about humiliation lately. I’ve become amazed and astounded about how that definition can change as your training and conditioning progresses.
There was a time years ago where just appearing in front of you wearing femme clothes was the most humiliating thing ever. As time has gone on, and my training has progressed, it has now reached the point where I wouldn’t be caught dead appearing before you, looking on point and professional in femme attire. It’s now a point of pride and not the least bit humiliating. It’s been fully normalized to the point that a compliment on how nice I look gives me joy instead of embarrassment. The same goes for any duty or task given to me.
Years ago, if you would have told me to go out in public to get you a drink or used me as your ashtray, I would have absolutely felt humiliated and tried to find a way out of it before giving in. Now without a second thought I simply say “yes Ms Patty”, complete my task, and hope to hear those magic words…” good girl”. The only humiliation I fear anymore is being told to wear the punishment blouse in public while completing any task.
The only anxiety that remains is way in the back of my brain as I know there are still people out there that want to ridicule people like me, but you have done such a number on shaping me and getting my hair and makeup skills to a level where most people can’t tell instantly that I have a useless piece of flesh between my legs. Even my posture and walk is looking more and more feminine as my corset and waist training continues.
This week I also received the ultimate gift from you. I’ve finally done something worthy of your video archive! When I saw it added I was overjoyed and have watched it numerous times. The way you have taught me to kneel at your side, hands clasped behind my back. The feeling of my sight being taken from me and the gag going into my mouth. Getting to view myself serving a purpose as your ashtray and eye candy as you seem to have a look of pleasure on your face brought me such joy. I can’t wait to do more things that earn me that reward. I secretly hope people going to your video wall are viewing that clip and saying to themselves “lucky slave” the way I always did when I saw you enjoying other slaves. It makes me want to get right back on my knees, with perfect posture, and able to say “Yes Ms Patty” before a gag goes right back in my mouth to let you enjoy my silent obedience of your every wish. I now live to say “yes Ms Patty” not with my voice, but with the silent obedience of my eyes as you derive pleasure from my compliance.
My purpose is to give my Mistress obedience and pleasure.
