I think this week I say without a doubt I’ve been conditioned to see myself as female. I won’t use the term “brainwashed”, this is more like the feeling an athlete has when they finally feel in shape. When I saw the short video you took of me leaving your dungeon and saw the hourglass shape walking in the high heels…when I saw the way the matching vest and skirt blended right into the panty hose and high heels I didn’t see “me”. I saw a female. I would have never assumed that it was someone with a locked piece of flesh between their legs.
I accepted that if that was what I saw, that must be what everyone else sees as well when you send me in public. I was already seeing that in my face when I would finish with my hair and makeup, but now with your final lesson showing me how to properly sit, walk, and bend down to retrieve things on the floor like a female, I see it in the rest of my body as well. I can now confidently tell people my name is danielle when I am out representing You.
I felt this way when I was completing my shopping assignment for you. Instead of wondering who was looking at me, I was just enjoying the rush of being out in my role as your girl. I knew my outfit looked more put together than anyone else, and that was the only thing that might be drawing glances, but those glances were complimentary and not judgmental. By flowing your conditioning I was able to pick out a nice collar pin that I will be able to wear while “on duty” in the future.
This conditioning also made me realize I am a much more complete girl when at your service. I couldn’t bear the thought of having that key unlock that cage that keeps me under your thumb and almost sent me into a panic. When you gave me permission to add time I was nothing but grateful. I have come to need the feeling of the cage giving me periodic correction when my thoughts turn to things that are sexual in nature. I am instantly corrected into remembering my mantra and those thoughts bring me peace. I found immediate happiness when being ordered to expose myself to you by binding my hands above my head so you could continue shaping my body to your specifications. Every time you tightened my corset a bit more I felt my brain reach a new level of contentment.
While I still get cravings from time to time for an orgasm instead of the ruined orgasms and fluid releases you induce to keep my body from fully adapting to being in chastity, I find more pleasure anymore in just living up to my purpose to you. That feeling when my body just involuntarily shakes and the feeling that comes with it when a true orgasm is had is only half as satisfying as hearing you tell me “good girl” or a compliment that I’ve managed to look perfectly on point as your representative. I’ve all but accepted it.
My purpose is to give my mistress obedience and pleasure.
