As colder weather sets in and Daylight disappears, my good old friend seasonal affective disorder returns. I start to work longer hours just so I don’t spend all of my time sleeping and hibernating as I tend to do. Having to bundle up and dress warm means I’m now not in uniform for work and don’t have any daily reminder to give me that subby feeling either. It makes the weeks drag a bit longer between in person meetings as well. It almost makes me wish global warming would happen faster so we can be more like Florida weather wise up here. That feeling every morning of seeing myself in the mirror in a figure-hugging vest and tie and sending that photo to you and the looks I would get throughout the day would always leave me feeling so controlled. Now it’s 5 layers of armor just so I won’t freeze my ass off. It also makes me wonder how I will stay warm when I do finally get to come serve as your domestic and sleep in your cage. Shivering for hours on end may be torture worse than any caning.
Our session this week was certainly interesting. It felt so nice having all of the human contact while you put me through my pumping routine. I love the marks you left on my body, and I’ve been doing my best to leave them intact. They are a nice reminder of the time I was able to spend with you this week. I’m once again not totally sure…as it didn’t come with an orgasm, but I think I felt a fluid release when you ordered me to turn over on my stomach and grind my hips on your bed while wearing the pink diaper. Your orders to tease myself while laying on my back after the human contact already had me feeling very sexy, so by the time I started grinding I was a little full in the cage, but definitely not close to fully erect. Every time I feel like I had a fluid release with no orgasm it just leaves me feeling more and more like a sissy. As you’ve told me, my brain is almost totally rewired to associate using the diaper while in the cage with orgasm. That has become the thing I crave the most. That feeling of release followed by the human contact you give me and the laugh as you comment that I’ve filled my diaper. Knowing I had no choice as you had me so bound in the cage, unable to move most of my body parts. I can’t wait to be in that space again with the final piece of bondage severely cuffing my ankles and feet together. The extreme pleasure I felt in those moments are what I still fantasize about. The fact that I no longer associate orgasm with spilling my silly little mess is mind blowing to me.
I truly have been molded by you into your perfect little freak. All in under 2 short years. All due to one tiny master lock.
