This past week you had me go into a small store on my way home from our meeting. Even though the meeting itself wasn’t as subby inducing as normal, the experience of going somewhere possibly hostile in full makeup did give me a little reaction. It definitely wasn’t subspace, but there was an adrenaline rush that I recognized from other times my fight or flight response has kicked in during my life. It was a little comforting when the girl behind the counter complimented my lipstick, but ever since the election I’ve become hyper vigilant whenever I go out in public…even in my male attire due to my now very femme figure.
I miss my cage. The super subby state it would induce when you would put me inside and add all of your bondage, forcing me to live in my own head and free fall down the rabbit hole is a feeling I think I got addicted to. As winter has come and our in person meetings have changed and I haven’t been in uniform for work as much it’s been like a different form of withdrawal. I get more annoyed at people in public and less patient with strangers. I definitely get exhausted faster and fall asleep much earlier. I’m sure some of it is seasonal, but that subby feeling that came with everyone seeing how I was required to dress when it was warmer is just so hard to replicate now that it’s consistently cold.
This week we cross the 2 year mark of chastity. I wonder what plans you have to mark the occasion. We’ve gotten to the point where fluid release and orgasm are not even close to synonymous. Neither causes sleep disruption in the chastity cage anymore. So much has changed in my body over these two years. I’m not the male that I started as. Literally everything that I was is all but gone now. I feel more natural locked away and wearing femme clothing. If it weren’t for societal peer pressure and the very real chance that regularly appearing that way in public could cause me harm, I’m sure I would now choose to exist that way.
I look forward to our next meeting and the beginning of a new year.
