I’m in so deep there is no going back. I learned that this week. The shape my body has taken, the thoughts going through my head, the need to be controlled. These are all things that are now permanent in my life. It no longer matters what I dress in. Everything about me feels like a girl.
Yes. I still know I’m a biological male. That will never change. That’s now just my biological sex. I’ve all but accepted my place on the gender spectrum leans more female than male.
I’ve also accepted that we’ve reached a stage where our weekly sessions combined with my daily uniform, I am required to wear for you has resulted in the subby feeling that leaves me wanting to do whatever I can to make you smile never waning. Every morning when I wake up I feel it a little less than the day before, the feeling becomes elevated as I put on my uniform and snap my required picture to send to you, and I stay that way until I get home and repeat that process each day. When I come for my in-person session, it’s like a full subby recharge. I leave each week wanting nothing more than to do whatever you say without hesitation.
This last week also taught me that you keep identifying new spots that keep me on edge and frustrated. As you had me chained down this week for my breast and nipple development, you found a spot that had me so close to orgasm. I know I felt pre cum, I know if the vibrator had been applied in that instant I would have just plain exploded, but you left me frustrated. This only deepened my submission. You had no need for me to orgasm. I am only permitted to do so as an extension of you. I am learning that my pleasure is directly linked to you. You had no need for me to orgasm. It was more pleasurable for you to take me to the edge and leave me there. Knowing that therefore left me feeling very proud of my service.
I know you will be finding more ways very soon to push me even more into becoming danielle. It’s not that long until my femininity and my submission both become just my 24/7 way of life.
