This week I learned two things. First, I can orgasm on command. Second, unless it’s under certain circumstances, it’s a tiny one.
The second you had me kneel, applied the vibrator, and said “I’m granting you an orgasm”, it’s like your close to a year of your mantra in my ears in the cage conditioning me to obey without hesitation kicked right in. I had a very small orgasm, but without the ramp up it was all I could muster. The strange part is it didn’t cause me to have any sleepless nights which is what I always have dreaded the most when permitted an orgasm in the past.
I’ve also started to notice lately that stimuli that used to cause me to make a mess almost doesn’t even tease anymore, as if my body has adapted and doesn’t assume that those things are going to lead to making a mess. There was a time when tying my balls, attaching a collar, or tapping on my chastity device with a cane would have caused me to come very close to, or even outright, making a mess. Now those things may actually to have more of a “normal” reaction. I might actually be able to wear a humbler or a parachute without making a mess. Rapping on my chastity device might only cause a slight strain on the device. Affixing a collar might now just be another way for you to lead me around while hooded and blinded. It’s all become normalized in the same way that dressing femme has become normalized. So many things that you have slowly been ingraining into me are falling into place. The wall between the old me and danielle is falling faster and faster and I’m coming closer and closer to being just one person. I know there are still parts of my life where my “old self” will always have to be the costume I wear, but it’s just that…. a costume.
The real me, more and more. Is danielle.
