I sit here is a state of subspace bliss writing this week’s journal entry. Still dressed from our session today, still experiencing some little aftershocks ruminating from the teasing you did to me while shaping my breasts.
It seems like not long ago, some of the things you did to me today would have made me spill a little mess. Instead, I spent nearly the entire time you had me restrained feeling my body react involuntarily to the different forms of stimulus you provided. First the pain of the nipple clamps, then the cycle of pain and relief caused my your manipulation of the leash around my balls. The almost spa massage calm that comes after you’ve attached the breast pumps. Then the teasing from the small nipple pumps that cause me to get super aroused. I’ve found they start to make my hips gyrate, which causes those pumps to tease my nipples, which cause me to stay aroused, and an almost endless feedback loop is created. Then you tug on the leash, which causes my hips to want to gyrate despite the inability to move unless I want to cause major damage to the balls that no longer belong to me.
I have no idea how long you did this to me and kept me in that state. All I know is I am extremely exhausted and simultaneously frustrated from no release of any mess nor orgasm felt. I also know I didn’t want you to stop or let me release. That place on the edge had my mind absolutely flipping out while also being in a peaceful calm. While it is usually thinking about 10 things at once while juggling my internal monologue. It was dead quiet, and laser focused on that feedback loop of tease and denial.
I know it going to leave me feeling very subby for a few days coming up. I wish there was some sort of assignment for me to help ease the feeling of drop that is inevitably coming. I also can’t wait until the day where you decide to break that feedback loop with allowing me to spill a mess instead of leaving me frustrated and in subspace. I am really enjoying the plaything you have slowly turned me into. I can sometimes feel the joy I am giving you through all my restraints and sensory blocking equipment. That feeling gives me so much pleasure.
