The pumping continued this week. As of today, I can still tell that it was done. The definition is not as obvious as when I was leaving, but when I take my shirt off, it is clearly visible that there was pumping done. To a random person, it still doesn’t look like I have a defined chest area, but I can see it starting to happen. Seeing it happen and knowing it’s going to be permanent of definitely having an effect on me as well. I’m feeling more and more feminine with each passing day. Even though I’m biologically male, I’m starting to consider myself nonbinary when it comes to gender. I have the ability to wear both genders costumes and pass either way.
That said, I now more than prefer to dress femme whenever possible. It just feels more comfortable and more “me”. Skirts and dresses are preferred over pants, hose and tights are preferred over socks, and heels and dressy flats are preferred over sneakers.
It’s also been my first full week not locked in the corset 24/7. It’s been nice not being so rigid all the time. My waist is still maintaining that shape, but I’ve been able to eat a little extra, sleep a little deeper, and drink a little water without feeling effects due to that prison around my midsection. I know I won’t be out of it forever, but I’m enjoying my time when not wearing it.
Finally, this past Thursday, for the first time in over a year, I was permitted to make a mess after being unlocked from my chastity device. While I had dreams of an amazing orgasm, it ended up being a release with no sensation whatsoever. I had been locked so long that when I made my mess it just came out with no feeling of orgasm. I even tried to have one to no avail after that initial release. It seems that my body now can only achieve that feeling while locked and after intense extended edging and tease and denial while locked in the device. Having to eat my own mess after releasing with no feeling of orgasm was just icing on the cake. I know you received pleasure from watching it happen, so I derived pleasure from that, but I now accept that orgasms are something that only you can give me. I no longer have the ability to do that for myself.
