I know this week didn’t go anywhere near as planned. First, I really hope you are starting to feel better and recover. Serving you in person is always a highlight of my week. It’s the one day that I get to live as danielle from the second I wake up to the moment I fall asleep early due to exhaustion from your conditioning. My head gets to live in that space the entire day and more and more desires that with each session. Having to miss that day this week had a bit of withdrawal set it.
The methadone of that heroin this week took place remotely. After my few days of freedom from the corset so I could enjoy the holiday with family, being relocked felt very much like being let out on leave from prison and having to go back. The feeling of having that chain and lock snapping closed around the corset again very much came with a submissive feeling that had actually begun to wane more than it had in quite a few weeks. It was what I was ordered to do next that I wasn’t prepared for.
When you ordered me to locate the timed lock, the hood, and the gag, I was a bit taken aback. I had planned on an uneventful Saturday evening, eating a healthy salmon and vegetables and going to bed kind of early. Instead, I found myself still dressed in my proper dress code for service, hood and gag locked on for almost 8 hours. I wasn’t going to be able to remove them until past 1am. No food or water. Still able to walk around, but unable to look down enough to see my own body. Within a couple hours I began disassociating and felt very dehumanized. When I looked in the mirror all I saw was danielle's body, dressed to serve, and a faceless head. I knew it was me, but my brain couldn’t register that it was me. I began to not exist.
At about 10, my body began to need to shut down and sleep. What I experienced was a space between wake and sleep where I had very vivid dreams that all revolved around being a completely dehumanized slave serving as your bedside table, your TV tray, your ashtray etc. I was ordered to morph from object to object and I could only quietly oblige with no hesitation.
When the timed lock beeped, indicating the timer had run out, I removed the hood and immediately fell into the deepest dreamless sleep I’ve had in quite a while. I had clearly been exhausted.
I’m totally subby and scatterbrained today as a result. As I write this, I want nothing more than to see you in person and have those dreams turn into a reality while also feeling all the bondage and bodily restrictions you have conditioned me to absolutely crave in between meetings. More than anything, I just want to amuse you, serve you, and do anything to bring a smile to your face.
