My conditioning is now one step further in becoming permanent. What has barely seemed like no change at all from week to week I have now noticed is very drastic from the beginning of all of this to now. What once was just a fetish for me in dressing femme has slowly become my new normal. What I was wearing daily now feels like the costume while the clothes and makeup I wear to complete the danielle look feel more natural. Putting on a blouse and blazer or a dress used to cause me to strain in my cage, now I notice it doesn’t even spark a thought that causes me to strain in the cage.
The conditioning is also showing itself in our weekly sessions. I’ve found that the act of relieving myself in the diaper now comes with a feeling that feels very much like an orgasm. It’s been so long since I’ve actually felt the full feeling of orgasm that I can’t be totally sure, but that moment when my bladder gives way, and the light dry diaper becomes wet and heavy is accompanied by a wave of pleasure that causes my hips to gyrate involuntarily and a moan to escape from my lips. I now go into the cage just hoping you will put as much pressure on my bladder as possible so that I am all but assured to fill up the diaper…even if it does mean that you will be ordering me to wear the full wet diaper for the rest of the day. Somehow your conditioning has made it so performing this very humiliating act for you is now considered an orgasm to my brain.
I’ve also noticed a side effect of wanting to do humiliating things just to bring you pleasure. The feeling is in my head every single morning as my first thought. It’s that “subby” feeling that used to last maybe 2 or 3 days after a session before wearing off. I now have felt that way for almost 3 weeks straight and it doesn’t seem to be wearing off. You’ve taken advantage of it too which just causes the feeling to get stronger and stronger. Every morning I hope to wake up to see a message or a task that will make you smile. When I get one, I find myself doing it without hesitation. When I don’t my brain starts to fantasize about what the next task will be. The next time you have me spill my mess will it come with an orgasm? Will that mess simply go in the diaper, or will you make me do something humiliating with it? Will I even be allowed to make one again now that the orgasm feeling has been successfully replaced?
These are questions I can’t wait to have answered as I approach 1 full year in chastity.
