The subby feeling has hit hard this week. Ever since you had me make my little mess without an orgasm and tightened the corset chain within just minutes of each other I have wanted to do nothing more than do things to make you smile. I know my dressing up for you is just one thing I can do to make that happen, and now that I’m in a living situation where I can do that for you, I find myself looking forward to getting home from work and femmeing myself so I can send you a daily photo to make you smile.
Today I even did all of my make up for you and put on my new heels. I can’t wait to find ways to utilize my timed lock that I was finally able to find again. I’m hoping it results in earning time to check in with you on FaceTime as I start to live as danielle more and more. I’m really starting to feel like the danielle version of me is the “real” me.
Growing up I always read the stories about a dominant woman putting a man in chastity and over time turning him into a woman and always read those stories as if they had no basis in reality. Even when I first started seeing you and shared how much I read those stories I doubted very much that it was possible for those stories to become reality, but here I sit writing this journal entry looking very much like a woman, locked in chastity, and no longer feeling like dressing femme is just a fetish I have. It feels like my new normal when I’m putting on my foundation, applying my mascara and lipstick, and buttoning my blouses or zipping my skirts. If not for the sporadic feeling the chastity device gives me from time to time reminding me that it is you that has conditioned me to be this way, I sometimes really do start to think of myself and identify as female.
The part of my closet that holds my male dress clothes rarely gets touched anymore. I wear bras and satin feeling things under the hoodies and pants I wear to work to feel like danielle. My male self-fades further and further away with each passing day.
Every couple weeks that subby feeling fades and my male self takes over again, usually that happens when I haven’t made my mess in a while or really crave an orgasm. Those days I don’t even think a single femme thought. Usually that about the time I go see you in person and you take care of that problem somehow. I know we are coming up on a year under your thumb and we had talked about having me unlocked at that time, but I’m not sure I want to be anywhere but under your thumb.
