This week off from my weekly conditioning had a strange effect on me. Just mere minutes after you told me you would not be able to meet in person this week my thoughts turned to how I could please you. I wanted to be given some sort of task to make you happy. It just made me realize that your conditioning has all but taken effect. The hours I have spent in that state of deep meditation with your voice repeating in my ears has reinforced that my purpose is to make you happy.
When you did give me an assignment to bring you a bit of joy it made me sated. The subby feeling I had gave way to my focus on performing your task. It’s the same feeling I have every time you have freshly released me from your cage and in the almost totally immovable bondage. Before the conditioning began, that cage time was needed to evoke those feelings. Now, they emerge on their own.
On the chastity front, I’ve once again reached the point where I feel actual cravings for orgasm. The edging I do to myself involuntarily gets more intense by the day. I still know it’s good for me not to release as I really do enjoy sleeping all the way through the night. I wake up very well rested as opposed to the few days after you force me to spill my mess. I stay very productive thanks to that rest. It also means that during the day while rested I am almost constantly edging myself. When you give me a week with no conditioning, I know it’s one more week of that constant edging. It a love/hate relationship between being totally well rested but constantly edging or being groggy but not on a sexual edge every waking hour.
I’ll be moving in the next couple weeks, so I anticipate another week with no conditioning coming soon. The nice thing is I will have a lot more time and opportunity to live and be dressed as danielle. At that point it may very well start to become something that becomes all but normal for me. danielle will have taken over for good.
