Another week “off”. In the past, these weeks kind of just passed and allowed me a kind of break when we didn’t meet, and I had no assignment. This week (up until I went on my little vacation) I had a craving to be forced into subby mode. I felt a little hole in my soul that wanted to be told what to wear, how to stand, when to kneel, when and if I was allowed to use the bathroom. When I told you that my goal was to be trained enough that you would be willing to use me as a Halloween decoration on your porch or your candy dispenser and you responded with “now you’re thinking like I do” it just sparked my fantasies and gave me an extra desire to do anything to please you.
I think some of that is because I’ve now reached that point where release via orgasm has reached that peak point of craving. Yes, I’m sleeping comfortably through the night, but almost all my dreams have a running theme where I wake up and am amazed, I haven’t had any kind of nocturnal emission. It makes me want to wear collars to bed or even consider buying a small bullet that would enhance those dreams or even cause me a ruined orgasm…the latter of which I always decide against because I know you want to be the one that decides when I get those.
I have noticed it’s been a bit since I’ve bought a new outfit fit, so I’ve of course started shopping for a few more pieces. It’s become just second nature that I only buy women’s clothes now. I haven’t bought new boy clothes in close to 2 years. Not underwear, not shoes, not even a t-shirt. I’m getting dangerously close to not having any real boy clothes anymore. I have the bare minimum to be able to operate in my vanilla world. Every other second that I’m not at work or coaching, I’m danielle. I think a day may be coming where I move from my current city and just begin to exist as danielle 24/7. At that point I won’t have to worry about local people “finding out”, I’ll just simply be Your girl and that will be my life. I always read little fantasy stories about this happening to men due to chastity. I never dreamed that it would actually be happening to me. Will that day be tomorrow or even next week? No, but I’ve gotten to the point where I could actually see it happening.
I look forward to our next meeting with great anticipation.
