This week you showed me a small bit of mercy and I thank You for it even though it resulted in not being allowed to have any interaction with You. Your initial assignment was to dress in an assigned outfit and complete a shopping list that was to be sent to me while on a FaceTime call with you. Somehow you recognized my extreme anxiety about going out dressed where I live and allowed me to complete your list in my “normal” clothes, but not being allowed to FaceTime was the tradeoff. A full week without hearing your voice or being in your presence isn’t a regular occurrence these days and it’s not something that care to experience too often. I feel it’s much harder to fulfill my purpose of making you happy when I’m given these weeks off, and doubly hard when I don’t have as much interaction.
Another side effect of these weeks “off” is I become more focused on my chastity. I am much more conscious of it when I don’t have tasks or when I’m not being sent off into sub space in your cage with your voice being forced into my ears. Therefore, this week I’ve had numerous cravings revolving around that piece of flesh that you have locked away from me. Every time I begin to dress femme I get the craving and I strain in the cage. Even though I’ve been forbidden from pleasuring myself for most of the last two years, I still have those desires. Everything about being danielle causes me to feel sexy which in turn makes me feel the cage. It’s all one vicious cycle.
The actual assignment of shopping for jewelry this week was relatively easy due to your act of mercy. I was able to complete the list and didn’t feel like I stuck out or was being judged. I barely felt seen. I was able to shop for each item quite easily. I think everything is going to look nice with most of my professional outfits. Nothing seems too overstated, but it all adds yet another layer to my femininity.
I truly can’t wait to be back in your presence again this coming week. Any other service position I would see a week off as vacation. With this I view it as the opposite, it almost feels like torture of a totally different variety. It leaves me listless and feeling like I haven’t served my purpose. Hopefully when allowed to come serve in person again, I can make up for it.
