What does BDSM stand for?
BDSM stands for Bondage, Domination/Discipline, Sadism/Submission, Masochism.
There are different elements of BDSM which are:
Dominance/submission (D/s): A lifestyle choice which involves personal power exchange. This exchange of personal power is given to another in exchange for guidance in desires which BDSM may be involved. The focus is Control not sex even though it may or may not be involved.
Bondage/Discipline (B/D): Is a practice involving being tied up or otherwise restrained for pleasure. Discipline refers to the act of punishing or being punished. The focus depending on those involved can be sexual or non-sexual.
Sadism/Masochism (S/m): The practice of deriving pleasure from causing a specific reaction or experiencing it from another. This may be sexual or non-sexual depending on those involved and may involve humiliation. A reaction may vary from giggles, breathing heavy, mouning or even tears. A reaction does NOT always stem from pain or discomfort.
What is the difference between Role-play and Lifestyle when it comes to D/s or BDSM?
Lifestyle is where the relationship between the Dominant and the submissive is the focus. Role-play can be involved sexually or to add "spice" to a BDSM scene. For some, adding role-play within a scene can assist them to getting into the correct headspace.
Those living in the D/s lifestyle or exploring BDSM find peace and pleasure within it. The goal isn't about personal gain or recognition but finding true peace within themselves.
The difference between a Dominant and a Top are:
A Top is a person who is looking for the physical interaction that is a part of BDSM but usually only for the interaction. A Top may assume some control during play but typically nothing beyond that.
A Dominant is a person who also looks for the physical interaction but is motivated more by the psychological control and the emotional submission. The goal of the Dominant is to push both physical and psychological limits within his/her submissive as well as him/herself.
The bond between a Dominant and submissive is built on trust, loyalty, open-communication and respect for one another. With a trusted bond, anything is possible.
Being a Dominant is NOT about someone catering to your every whim but taking on the responsibility of guiding another towards shared goals.
Bottom, Submissive, Switch and Slave:
Typically bottoms enjoy the interaction but are not looking for long term guidance on a continual basis. It's more about the experiences.
A submissive is looking for the interaction and the psychological control. Typically long term but this isn't always possible due to outside circumstances.
The term slave is normally given to a submissive that is in a long-term D/s lifestyle relationship. It can also be used to describe a submissive that is looking for a long-term D/s relationship.
The traditional idea of a switch is a submissive/bottom that adapts to the role of a Top/Dominant but this isn't always the case. Typically it's due to his/her partner or those involved within an experience. Again, this isn't always the case and the switch can simply derive pleasure from which ever role they accept.
It is important to remember everything within BDSM is consensual. All those involved have limits, both physical and psychological. This includes Hard limits which everyone has and these must be respected.
